Healing the Schism Between the Mother and Whore Archetypes in Women and Why Men Should Care

I was listening to David Brown on Youtube not too long ago as he talked about the two main roles or archetypes that women are allowed to embody in Western Society: the Mother and the Whore. I won’t say that I agree with everything he says in the video I watched, but I did like his distinction about what’s going on for women in who they can be. Everything else that women do, they have to do in a male framework. So, if a woman wants to be successful in business, she’s expected to act more like a man. The same goes for sports and plenty of other things. I think being a nurse might be an exception, but then what’s going on is that she’s essentially still the archetype of the Mother.

Obviously, this isn’t healthy to allow so few ways for feminine energy to be expressed in society. In a deeper way, the archetype of the whore is an extreme bastardization of women’s sexuality, and it’s had horrible repercussions. And this issue isn’t limited to women; it very much affects men and how they relate to themselves, women, and sexuality in general.

The Emerging Divine Feminine and Healing Women

I am careful about how much spiritual jargon I use. Phrases like “emerging divine feminine” or “emerging consciousness” fall into that category because when I say them, how many of you really know what I mean? When I say the emerging divine feminine, I’m referring to the natural energy of women that’s come to balance out the energy of the world (which while male-dominated, isn’t dominated by men; it’s dominated by incomplete boys–but I’m getting ahead of myself). This energy is bringing with it a lot of love, deep intimacy, nurturance, and connection. It’s not that we’re going to be worshipping women; it’s that we’re going to all know how to honor and respect the roles of the divine feminine in every aspect of our lives. For men, that can mean we will honor our bodies better (I mean, dude, you’re sick; go to the doctor for goodness sake). Obviously women will be honoring their bodies better too. In the realms of receiving, nurturing, and sexuality, we see the natural realms of women.

Gendered Stereotypes and Transcending Sexuality Perceptions

I typically stay out of men are this and women are that stereotypes, but for the sake of what’s happening, it’s useful. Ultimately, we all have masculine and feminine aspects to ourselves. Bringing them into balance and alignment brings us into alignment with the world around us and our relationships. Women can be strong and forceful warriors and leaders too. I’m not skewing women to only be one way; I’m focusing on certain aspects of femininity because they’ve taken such a beating for so long. I think the re-emergence of the divine feminine  is also why so many young women are waking up so soon. Lately, the women reaching out to me are really young (early 20’s); it seems like that consciousness is just pushing them along quicker (or maybe the guys are more afraid to reach out, who knows?). But what happened to cause a lot of these problems in the first place? Division.

In Christian culture, the idea of the mother and the whore is reflected in divine Mother Mary (who doesn’t have sex to become pregnant with Jesus) and Mary Magdalene (the Whore, who is interpreted to have had a wide variety of relationships with Jesus depending on who tells you the story). This is an absurd division to make. I love the concept of a divine born baby, but we’re all divine born. So to divide sexuality from Mother Mary is a grossly unfortunate thing to do. Piled on top of the guilt complex around Eve and the story of her tempting Adam, Christian culture has denigrated women to secondary roles. This has to stop. A lot of Christians and churches know this and have righted those wrongs. And I’m not in any way saying Christianity is bad, I’m saying that there is a problem and am looking at one of the root causes. I’m saying that this division between mother and whore has been damaging to all of societies where it’s played out, and it needs to stop.

The Whore: Used, Abused, and Even Worshipped

The whore is essentially female sexuality. All the connotations around her are bad. She is unclean, evil, and lost. Her body is both sought after and abused. You can see her in advertising these days. People covet these thin young female bodies, and yet pretty soon they are quickly abused-verbally or physically. I think Britney Spears has ridden that curve in her career.

For men, the female body is secretly worshipped and idolized until they get her. Then their own sexual shame drives them to use or abuse that sexuality. It’s a big f–ing mess, people. In many ways, the whore is within men too (Guys, you really have to own your femininity; it’ll make you real men, not sissies–you already are that if you don’t appreciate and love your female energy). Because guys use their bodies to get a feeling, and an underlying sense of shame is often there except in one situation–making children with the Mother.

The Mother: A Restricted Role

In some parts of religion, the only kind of sex that’s okay is procreative. In that way, men and women are finally sanctioned to have sex. It makes a lot of young couples run into marriages that they’re not ready for because that’s the only outlet for their sexuality. From the space of the Mother, women can find a role that society accepts. It’s a restricted one, and while women have done a lot to expand what other roles they can have outside of the home and the hearth, a lot of it involves losing their femininity to take on those different roles. It’s a shame. It’s a shame because there is so much wisdom in women from head to toe. Our society has lost that wisdom. Now, we’re trying to get it back.

Sensual Mother and Empowered Lover

First off, sex is okay. That’s important to come to terms with. Until you’re okay with your sexuality, no one else will be. You may also judge people badly depending on how they are with sexuality because you’re not okay with your own. This applies to men and women. Men, you aren’t giving up your power to women. Instead, you’re being challenged to understand your own inner sexuality and maternal instincts. In this way, we become strong passionate lovers and amazing fathers. We defend our hearts by knowing them, not by using our fists. And we worship our lovers’ bodies by the depth in which we know our own.

For women, the sensual mother is the merging of the divine mother and whore. It loses the terrible connotations of the whore; it doesn’t make you promiscuous. It makes you discerning about your lovers and when how you give your love to them. You can take on the aspect of the mother without necessarily having children. You can see this in the way some women are with nurturing others. Lord knows, there are so many places that need to be nurtured in society that we all won’t be able to get enough of this. You will also not be abusing your own bodies to fit the images of others who are trying to remember what beauty is. A size zero dress is not beauty–it’s a failed attempt to remember what real beauty is. Real beauty is already within you. Let go of the ideas that have been enforced on you and fall into this space.

In an even deeper way, some women will be called to use their sexuality as a way to birth themselves and men. Sexuality is a doorway to enlightenment, healing, and rebirth in general. There is such deep longing in so many men to be men, but the aspects of connecting with women and into man’s own femininity have been lost. So men abuse sex, drugs, money, power, and their bodies to try and feel like men. If you want to see how bad it is, go watch “Fast Five” when it comes out. In the previews that I’ve seen, it pretty much outlines every possible way that men are out of control, and it’ll show plenty of images of the whore. But in some women (not all), they will take men into their sexuality and help them to become true men. It’s a beautiful offering, but one that’s been lost and confused as some kind of prostitution. People who think that simply don’t understand that there are ways in which sex is a ritual rebirthing for men–a lost rite of passage and part of the reason that so many boys from very early on think that they have to have sex with a woman before they can become men.

Sexuality Is a Piece, But Not the Whole of the Equation

If I’m focusing on sexuality, it’s because this is where the hammer has fallen the hardest on women. It is hardly the whole of the equation. As women come to heal the fissures within and the divine feminine embodies within them, many other roles and ways of being are going to open. Those roles will open in a brand new way so that if a woman is a Teacher, then she teaches in balance with her male and female energy. If she is a healer, the fullness of female energy is available there too. It won’t be locked away as taboo anymore (Just think of some really distant and stodgy doctors in the case of the healer–not much female energy happening there). That energy also will be able in balance and not just running to a new extreme because that’s the gift of the times today. It’s an amazing shift to be in. It’s one that will leave both men and women happier, healthier, and more fulfilled in their lives. You simply have to be ready to allow it to come into your life, and one way or another it will.