When I was getting close to rupturing into my initial awakening, I intuitively knew that I had to get out of town and go some place else. It felt like it would be impossible to be where I was, and this wasn’t in a running away sort of way. This was simply like a flower bud that was about to burst into color, and the bud was no longer big enough to hold it. So away I went one August, and the person who came back to where I was living at the time was most definitely not the same.
However, since then, I’ve had other sanctuaries. And in truth, during these big shifts, we all need these safe places to seclude us from the crazy, madness of the world and help us re-connect with ourselves. We need a clear, free space with room to grow. It’s kind of a paradox. You go into the chrysalis so you can explode into your hugeness and fullness of you. For many of you, you are also doing a lot of deep and profound healing, and you need that safe space to keep out any other contaminants while you have yourself cut open and are spiritually operating on yourself, with yourself, and with God. No one walks into a surgeon’s operating table when the surgeon is operating, and so too, there’s a lot of truth in that for awakening.
With all this said, those of you who are awakening will find a time in your life when you need a sanctuary, and I encourage you to do so
Going to a Sanctuary Is Not Running Away
I have to be very clear that this is not about running away. Going to your sanctuary isn’t a simple retreat. In many ways, I’ve been in my little sanctuary with reduced contact to the world for about 3 years. It’s not my ego’s preference; it is what is necessary. Those of you going through your shifts will understand that. You’ll understand just how much energy is being expended inward to align yourself with the Truth of you and to remove all ego lies and obstacles within you. It is not a time for much outward exploration, at least beyond the necessity to ground and embody this energy. In truth, you probably don’t have much time to run anywhere, and this in and of itself can be challenging.
But others of you are still early in your path, and you may have the ego that’s trying to be spiritual and decide that it needs sanctuary. To you, I encourage you to read my blogs in the starting out section and to stay in the midst of the difficulties in life that you may be trying to flee. The spiritual path does not take you away from difficulty; it takes you straight towards it so you can transmute it and learn the lessons about yourself that you need to learn. When it is time to awaken and seek a sanctuary, you’ll know.
The Safety of Nature and an Appropriate Place
Some of you will likely need multiple sanctuaries as you grow and heal and awaken. One space is good for one kind of work, and then, it is no longer the right space in which to be. This is perfectly natural, although it can be challenging to try and figure out where to go next depending on how deeply this change is affecting you. Many of you are overcome with fatigue because of all the internal work that is going on, but this too is temporary. When it is time to make a change, you will know, and you will find the right place. After awhile, many of us seek the safety and comfort of nature because of its natural, supportive energy. Nature really has no agenda, not like people. There’s so much dis-ease and issues being thrown about by other people–even well-meaning ones–that you’ll enjoy a lot of solitude in nature. It often becomes one of the key supporting energies in which you’ll re-charge.
But some of you will still have some contact with others. Some of you may be fortunate enough to have a spiritual caretaker, which is another topic I mentioned in a previous blog. In those situations, a caretaker gives you this space to go through what you need to go through and provides a lot of real world support (money, food, shelter, etc.). They are usually unlikely to give much energetic support unless they also happen to be a teacher. Regardless, you are very lucky and blessed to have a spiritual caretaker in a place of sanctuary, but as always, it will be temporary. The sanctuary is always temporary.
Inappropriate Sanctuaries: Being Drained by Your Environment
People can have a lot of attachments to environments and places, and that can blind them to the fact that they’re not healthy places for them. Especially in awakening, you absolutely have to be in a supportive environment because so much may be demanded internally. For me, I went to an absolutely horrible environment during the early stages of my embodied awakening; I went to live in San Francisco. It’s one of those choices that I wouldn’t make again. I was being drained by just about everything, which slowed down a lot of my embodying process. I didn’t have the energy I fully needed for me, and I didn’t understand how much energy I really needed.
And how would I?
Part of why I write this blog is to help you understand your needs because most people don’t know anything about this process, and I can clearly tell you that you have to get in touch with your heart and your soul and ask for what you need. Ask about what kind of environment supports you. Then you have to go there and set up shop for awhile to fully be with the awakening. The full allowance and letting go is so crucial; you’re still going to find places inside of you where you aren’t fully letting go–it’s like involuntary muscle clenching. Some deeper part of you is still holding on, so you need a place where you can let go completely to find those other hidden and involuntarily resisting parts of you to help yourself release deeper.
Helpers, Shifters, and Supporters
Along the way, you’ll find the help you need. While only you can ever know your truth and what is right for you, there are plenty of people with ideas who can help you figure out where your sanctuary would be. Sometimes it is going back to live in your parents’ basement. Some times it means going to an ashram for awhile. Some times it simply means finding an apt on the edge of civilization next to the woods. Whatever it means for you, you’ll find the help you need to pay for what you need to pay for and to find the space you need. You are not alone in this endeavor, and while others may not fully understand or appreciate what you’re going through, many people will still do things to help you out of love. Maybe it isn’t the purest, most refined love, but such is the way things are. The world is the way it is, and you will have the support you need most when it matters most.
Relaxing Into Your Sanctuary
You know that you can’t time a shift, so it’s best to get comfortable in this place where you feel supported and safe. There’s nothing to do. So much of what the spiritual path asks of us is to make space, and then God supplies the rest. The awakening shifts you and does what it wants to, and in truth, you are shifting you. You and God really are one, and you’re coming into a deep awareness of this truth.
Doing things becomes very secondary, and it only happens as necessary, i.e. making a little money from time to time to pay for bills. Some of you may have more financial support; some of you may have less. But whatever the specific circumstances, you all have the inner tools that you need to be with this sacred transformation, and with the right space to support you, you’ll find that the awakening may take on a softer feel. It gets softer because you are now relaxing into it, and you are feeling from a deep space of trust and faith that you really will be all right.