It may sound absurd to some of you in awakening, but you can pause it. You can hit the brakes. But I wouldn’t recommend it.
So why write about it? It’s because in some instances, I think a few of you may need to know where to find the pause button so you can catch your breath. The wash, clean, rinse, and repeat cycles can be intense, and while they may seem completely involuntary, they are us. This energy is us. Us has been coming out of seclusion and suppression and reshaping us into our natural form. It is a beautiful process, and it is a rare one. Most of the time people who are talking about “awakening” are talking about the conscious path. The conscious path is where we learn more about ourselves and grow over time. It is the path we all must walk–awakened or not.
The awakened path is the one that knows that we are perfect as we are, and yet it pushes us persistently towards the total understanding of this truth in every aspect of ourselves. This knowing isn’t an idea. It can only partially be talked about because otherwise it becomes just a concept. And I am not actually much interested in concepts here.
As such, pausing is in and of itself a kind of concept. So we mustn’t hold onto it to tightly. Otherwise, we can get caught up into ideas about control, which comes from hidden fears.
Nonetheless, I’ll talk a little bit about why, when, and how you pause in awakening to get a momentary gulp of fresh air before letting the next wave take you back down.
The Waves of Awakening
Some time ago, I described spiritual awakening as an energy rollercoaster. You can get into these amazing high states only to drop down into these amazingly deep and dark places. And then you rise back up to a new zenith. It is the expansion and contraction of the spiritual path, and it is necessary because of all the healing that we need as well as to grow into our natural way of being.
Another metaphor that also works is with waves. One after another after another, these waves come through. It is just your energy, though. Nothing spectacular is going on. The only thing that really is spectacular is how we kept all this energy locked up inside. For those of you who aren’t awakening in this way, it really is helpful as you move down the conscious path to clear out some of this sludge. Don’t just go for whatever feels pleasing or what meets with your current belief system. Dig down into some dirty nasty roots and see what’s going on. If you do so, it can make letting go into an awakening that much easier if it ever arises in your life.
But back to the ocean of consciousness, you will notice at times that you can feel completely submerged and pressurized. It’s like being at the bottom of the ocean, and you may get tired of trying to swim to the surface. In a way, that has to happen. You do have to surrender. Stop struggling to get to the surface to gasp for air. Breathe here. See what is feeling so pressurized. Is it really what is shifting around you? Or is it something inside of you trying to come out?
Why You Might Want to Pause an Awakening
Initially, most of your “why” reasons suck. I’m sorry. I’m being too gentle here. But rather than emphasize that part too much, all I can say is that the ego part that thinks you can’t handle this shift and that your old life was better somehow is dead wrong. That’s most of why a lot of people think they need a pause. In many instances, the waves aren’t coming hard enough or fast enough. This kind of desire to pause is simply a way to protect illusions. It’s not about getting a respite to dive down deeper into core limiting beliefs and other falsities, and that really is the best kind of “why” you might have. It’s okay to need time to settle into a new sense of expansiveness before getting sucked back into the next thing. This can be especially true for all of you who are intellectually quick. I often advise my students in a session after a mental realization has come that they should breathe into it and to slow down for the next couple of days. The heart, body, and subtle energy fields all need to figure out what this realization means to them. When all of you “knows” something, that is a true knowing and not an incomplete knowing.
Incomplete Knowing and Looking for the Finish Line
Additionally, it is actually relatively common in my experience for people to not fully integrate an awakening. Conceptually, these people know things and can speak about Truth very clearly and eloquently. But to me, there is a hollowness to it if the heart, body, and subtle energies do not fully understand this Truth. It is not bad, per se. It simply shows where someone is, and that can be very different from where a person says that they are. As such, I encourage those of you moving through your shifts to be wary of the part of you that wants to pause or thinks you understand it all already. That type of thinking smacks of a hidden motive to get out while the ego still can.
The ego is a resilient thing, and it can take a lot of abuse and transform itself to some degree into a new spiritual ego. As such, the seeking of an end goal or finish line does nothing but reveal that something is trying to win or hang on. In these moments, I encourage you to go deeper. Ask if you really know everything. Ask what your heart thinks and then listen. Ask what your body thinks and then listen. And remember that they don’t speak in words. The heart speaks in emotions. The body speaks in sensations, and neither cares much for goals.
When to Pause an Awakening
I am hoping that I have offered a strong enough framework to say this next part. Keep in mind that all of life is constantly in motion. So in some ways, a pause is simply a changing of your motion, and I really encourage you to not confuse this pause as a way to safety. Rather, there are times when you are feeling really unbalanced or may need to briefly (can I emphasize BRIEFLY more?) interact in an old way of living to take care of paying bills, working, and so forth that a pause may be useful. But if you are “pausing” to work, you need to make time to go back into your process. Your process is taking you to the best place of all to be able to fully support and sustain you, but as you are stripping the metaphorical house down to its supports and preparing to blow up the foundation, you may not have a newer or healthier support system around you yet.
Maybe you do though? It’s good to reach out for help to find out what you have around you, and it is good to reach out to well-meaning strangers. The universe is vaster than our network of family and friends, and since many of those people reinforce unhealthy ways of living, strangers may be more helpful than seemingly close friends.
But since some of you are in charge of taking care of your cost of living, a pause can be useful to come out of the depth, make some money, and then go back into your process. It can also be helpful to rest and integrate what you’ve discovered and healed. This tends to be a slightly different scenario, and it speaks to some of you who try to do too much inner work, which can also happen for those of you who have enthusiastically embraced your shifts.
How to Pause an Awakening
So, be really, really sure you want to do this. It may not actually be comfortable, and if you are seeking comfort, that is not a reason to pause either. The part of you that is uncomfortable is showing you where your attention needs to be. By turning down the heat, this part of you can go back into remission, which is what it wants. Keep in mind that the fires (I know this is like my third spiritual awakening metaphor today) have to get hot enough and bright enough to reveal a lot of hidden things in us and to burn them out. A lot of old pain, trauma, and core beliefs would like nothing more than to continue to hide. As I’ve said earlier, you really want to inspect the “why”–why do you want to really pause the awakening?
Okay, so what do you do? Ask yourself for a break.
That’s it.
You’re the one in charge, and the awakening is you. If you really need a day or two to come up for air, then ask. Keep in mind, that it must be sincere. You know you. You know when you are trying to avoid something or if you really just need a break to integrate, work on a freelance project, or something else. But as I mentioned earlier, this is being done with the knowing that you are going to return to the shift. And return you should. Nothing bad is happening. It’s messy, yes. It’s dark at times, yes. A part of you is dying, but it is just the ego. And that’s not real anyway. The more you align with your light, the easier this beautiful shift can be, although it’s not exactly an enjoyable thing to deal with inner pain.
Renewing Your Commitment to the Work
While I can’t say if your deeper intelligence will or won’t grant you a pause, I think that if we’re honest, we can get these brief respites. But then you want to renew your commitment to going inside. You won’t have to try too hard for the shifts to return. They are very intelligent. We are very intelligent, and this whole awakening thing really is just taking us deeper into our own divine intelligence. The world may seem to be falling apart around us, but that only happens when we’ve built our life upon lies. Take the lies and the made-up structures away (jobs, relationships, so forth), and the truth is reveal.
And the truth knows how to grow. It knows how to flow. It knows where to take you, and if awakening has burst forth within you, you are on your way. Trust it. If you do so, you’ll know when you need an occasional respite, but by and large, you won’t want to stop or pause any of this as you see how truly beautiful you are and life is when it is allowed to unfold and emerge within and around you.
