We’re surrounded by them. We’re so inundated with lies, half-truths, and twisted beliefs that many people don’t know what is real or true anymore. Some people may even give up and believe that nothing is real in a nihilistic sort of way. This giving up can occasionally lead someone to the real truth, but more often, it creates a constantly recycling state of depression, anxiety, or anger because deep down the person knows there is something real in this world.
But what is it?
The only way to know what is true is to unmask your own lies. We have been taught to be master liars. We tell ourselves all kinds of lies everyday, and we have gotten so used to them that these beliefs are hidden. They are hidden as commonsense or just “the way things are.” Because of this when someone occasionally speaks the truth like me, I’m considered either a prophet or a madman. But I have no ownership of the truth and no special powers to see it that you do not. I simply did the one thing that many people have not done–investigated and faced my own self-lies.
With this deeper sensitivity to your own lies, it becomes more obvious when other people are lying or half-truthful. But it is best to focus on yourself first. As Jesus said in Mathew 7:3, “And why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?” That “log” limits your perceptions and interpretation abilities of what is going on around you. You may even be so blind that you are just looking at your own blindness that you project onto others. Certainly, it is easier to notice the problems and lies others are stuck in, but if you are not out of the mud yourself, it is absurd to tell others that they are stuck in mud.
For my energy sensitive friends, you may notice that people’s energy tells you a lot. If someone says something that doesn’t match with their energy, you may sense this lie, this mismatch. This energetic mismatch can be an intentional lie, but more often, it is an unintentional lie. However, it can be jarring and confusing to sense these mismatches. Another way to look at it is as if the person just said two different answers to one question. If someone says “yes” and “no,” which answer do you respond to? This is an interesting issue that can also come up, so I wanted to address this and other aspects of uncovering lies in this spiritual awakening blog post.
Lies have to be practiced. If you don’t say them regularly, you’ll forget. You have to remember each day that you need to be attractive, smart, safe, and many other things. If you forget these lies, then you would be free, and this is not what your ego self believes you would want. This too is another lie. There are just so many lies we tell ourselves that the only way to deal with them is to get them out into the open. Journaling about them is one way to shine some light on what is going on inside you. I know that you probably don’t think you’re lying to yourself all the time, but what many of you call beliefs are actually lies. So the first step is to write down all your beliefs. That in and of itself can be quite a surprising exercise. Look at all the things you think you have to believe and do to be alive. But do those beliefs really add anything to living?
On some level you believe that they do. Otherwise, you wouldn’t live by them.
There’s another element to this journaling exercise. I want to encourage you to write down the cost of living these lies. Let’s take the belief of being attractive. What is that costing you?
- Does it cost you friends?
- How much time do you invest in looking attractive?
- What is the emotional cost of not approving of how you naturally are?
- How much money is invested on a monthly basis to make your body look a certain way?
I’m very serious about writing down the monetary cost. So often people think they don’t have enough money, and some people genuinely have money issues. However, others are short on money because they are sending their monetary energy out to support lies. When you stop spending hundreds of dollars a month on the gym, clothing, supplements, beauty products, and so forth, you may find yourself in a much stronger financial situation. Suddenly money problems are easier to deal with or are non-existent when you get to work on some of these deep lies. In this way, you’ll also see the profound effects one little lie like, “I have to be attractive,” can be on your whole life. Can you imagine the total costs of all your lies and what they may be doing to you?
Stepping Into the Unknown
Invariably, letting go of lies puts you in the space of not knowing the truth and not knowing what to do. That probably led some of you to this spiritual blog today. You have begun to have a thirst for the truth. This is an important thirst. Fortunately, your truth is already here now. Inside of you is the quiet space of wisdom we all have, and facing your lies and letting them go is part of opening to that wisdom and everything it has to tell you.
At first, you may not understand this wisdom. You may not know how to listen. You may not have dug deep enough through all the lies to really hear it or trust it. There may not be an immediate message you need to hear, and of course, you may also not like the message. All of this asks you to sit in the space of the unknown and to listen more deeply to yourself. Learn to listen to silence. It is one of our greatest teachers, and it can drive an ego mind obsessed with “ideas” crazy until you come to the point where you are ready to let go of that whole identity.
Preferring Convenient Lies to Inconvenient Truths
I find that more often than not that people do know their truths; they just don’t like them. That leads many people to run away from this whole spiritual path back to the convenience of their lies. At least, their lies seem convenient. The nature of ignorance is that we do not know how badly wounded we are. That’s why major life incidents (heart attacks, assaults, rapes, etc.) are often the only way people can be shocked into paying attention to what is real. Otherwise, a comfortable lie is a prison cell someone will never attempt to escape.
Most people aren’t going to get their bell rung loud enough, however. They’ll believe that they are happy in their marriage, that they don’t have “time” to follow their dreams,” and that life is generally “fine.” I’m sure you know your lies very well. You rehearse them all the time in your mind and through your actions. So the next time you find yourself trying to believe you’re happy by rehearsing your lies take note of what you are repeating. What are the ideas and beliefs you tell yourself over and over? By the way, the truth doesn’t need any repeating or believing. It is what it is, inconvenient or convenient as it may be.
Self Awareness Leads to Greater Awareness of Others
If we do remove the log from our own eyes, our perception of others and life expands exponentially. It’s incredible how perceptive we can be when we aren’t lying to ourselves. This leads you to realize how many other people are totally lying to themselves.
When we come to these realizations after doing inner work, there tends to be a lot more compassion in seeing this truth. Our own self work shows us how deluded we’ve been, So we find a lot of compassion towards those who are as lost as we were. Those who see the lies of others but haven’t done their work will pity others’ delusion or speaking poorly of them. This lack of compassion is a key sign of not having done any heart work if any other kind of self work.
With all that said, seeing all of these lies can be startling and overwhelming. It can be natural to want to help people to see clearly and to grow. But I encourage you to practice moving from a space of truth instead. Living your truth is more important than telling others what they are doing wrong. Most people aren’t used to seeing someone act from a space of clarity and presence, and you probably haven’t done it that much either. That makes walking your spiritual talk an important practice for you, and it’ll offer guidance to others in terms of how to act from truth. Certainly, not everyone will pick up on this new way of interacting, and not everyone will like you for it. But some will like it, and some will learn from you. This is one way that living our truth can help to reveal lies for others without needing to point out their flaws.
Responding Mindfully to Energy Mismatches
Coming to point of dealing with people who are lying to themselves when you have the ability to sense the mismatch, I think the big thing to notice is the level of consequence of the current situation. If someone is saying that they want to go out to a party and you can sense that they don’t, there’s not a huge level of consequence. It’s just a party, and the person can continue to act out that lie, which is probably based on some belief of social expectation. This means they think they need to show up because others want them to. However, if someone tells you that everything is fine at home and you can sense that it isn’t, you might inquire about specifics. The key thing is to remain relaxed and open. If you sense an abusive situation going on, you may offer some thoughts about the topic objectively but not specifically about the person. If something is really dangerous, you might organize an intervention.
As I said, most situations aren’t so critical that you need to root out the lies in people and show people reality. It’s, unfortunate, but sometimes in serious situations, people won’t accept help either. That doesn’t mean that you wouldn’t attempt to help in serious situations, but it’s simply a reality of the sickness that humanity currently resides in to prefer their familiar misery.
Getting Used to Being Lied to
All this leads to getting used to being lied to. Or rather, you are getting used to people lying to themselves and then lying to you from that space of delusion and ignorance. It’s not a fun thing. However, if you are upset by this, then you need to go further into facing more of your own self-lies. I often point out on this blog that there are a lot of layers to our issues, and so too there are a lot of layers to the lies in which we shroud our issues. Any time anything upsets us, that is a sign that there is an issue within that needs attention. There are a lot of awful things going on in the world, but our being upset does nothing to change them. When we act from a space of being upset, we tend to add more pain and suffering into the world, and it is my hope that none of you want to do that.
So part of breaking the cycles of pain and suffering includes getting used to being lied to. It’s great if you are sensitive enough to know when someone’s words aren’t matching the energy of their hearts. If anything it’ll help you to find people who are more truthful, and we are out here. You’ll notice that it’s like the words, emotions, and actions sync up when someone is really speaking their truth. They all match. They resonate more strongly. These are some of the ways people describe this enegetic matching.
With lies, things don’t match. There’s something that’s “off” that you can’t explain. There’s this kind of discomfort with the person that doesn’t make sense. However, this last one really only can be trusted if you have done your inner work. This is a particular kind of discomfort; most of the discomforts people feel are from their own pain and lies.
Letting Life and Truth Reveal Itself
As I often say, the truth doesn’t need believing. It is. So the more you let go of lies and beliefs, you can simply see what is. It’s like allowing the sand that is covering a beautiful painting to blow away by the inner winds inside you. Those winds are always blowing, and it’s only by actively burying the painting again and again that you do not see the truth. So let go. Cease those inner actions. Allow things to be revealed within you and know your truth.