Ego death has become a bizarrely popular topic.
AI bots and Wikipedia will tell you that “Ego death is a “complete loss of subjective self-identity.’” BTW, they’re quoting from hallucinogenic research below:
Johnson, M.W.; Richards, W.A.; Griffiths, R.R. (2008), “Human hallucinogen research: guidelines for safety” (PDF), Journal of Psychopharmacology, 22 (6): 603–620, doi:10.1177/0269881108093587, PMC 3056407, PMID 18593734, archived from the original (PDF) on 2017-11-20, retrieved 2014-10-30
That’s not the correct understanding for realizing spiritual freedom, but if you’re researching psychedelics, I can see why you’d arrive at this conclusion.
In general, people are talking about ego death in all kinds of ways, and there are countless misunderstandings.
In this post, I’m going to tackle a number of key topics such as:
- What Is Ego Death?
- What Is NOT Ego Death?
- Why Are People Wanting This?
- 5 Steps to Die a Good Ego Death
- How to Handle the Death of Your Ego
Let’s begin.
What Is Ego Death?
Firstly, what is your ego?
Your ego is your whole sense of identity. Your whole sense of identity includes your body sensations, emotions, and thoughts.
Ego death is the loss of attachment to your whole sense of identity.
Ego death on the path to enlightenment is not dissociation where you can no longer tell what is real. It is not a loss of connection to your body sensations, emotions, and thoughts.
You feel fully in ego death.
In fact, this is a problem for many people when they begin to die a little/let go of attachments. They feel feelings that their ego had blocked, and some of those feelings are not very happy.
When this experience is more profound–as in some spiritual awakenings–it can feel like a deluge of emotions and sensations that the person doesn’t know how to handle.
After a Spiritual Awakening Unleashes All Your Emotions
What Is NOT Ego Death
What is not ego death include:
- Turning off your brain’s spatial processing
- The loss of all your problems
- Dissociation and other versions of checking out of reality
- Feeling blissful, ecstatic, and good all the time
- Separation from reality
This last part is an essential understanding of liberating yourself from ego suffering. You don’t become more separate in oneness. In fact, one of the big problems with modern understanding of ego death is that it’s discussed in the language of separation:
“My ego is hurting me.”
Your ego is not hurting you. You’re not separate from your ego.
You can’t cut out your ego, and yet some people—particularly young men—want to kill their egos.
Seriously. What are you talking about?
You don’t know.
Time to practice humility and accept that you don’t know this process, no matter how many blogs and videos you’ve consumed.
Intellectual understanding is a primer for guidance through
experiential learning.
Furthermore, the experiences with hallucinogens and psychedelics that make people feel oneness are entirely unsustainable. You can’t live life without a sense of spatial awareness.
This type of loss of physical boundaries isn’t the oneness that we’re even talking about with enlightenment.
You’re experiencing a high.
However, there is an important lesson here.
The lesson of hallucinogens is that you can experience life in different ways than what your ego habitually offers you.
It’s also the lesson you might learn from intense breathwork, meditation, and other tools.
Therefore, you are not trapped in that ego, and you have an opportunity to fundamentally change.
But that requires real inner work.
Why Are People Wanting This?
You probably have already derived an answer to this question from the previous paragraph.
People want to feel better.
It boils down to that.
People are hurting. They want the hurt to go away.
People are also deeply confused about four types of discomfort.
- Common pain
- Physical distress
- Psychological suffering
- Traumatic experiences and re-experiences
Pain—An immediate physical response that motivates a person to change something. Hunger, stepping on a thorn, thirst, and so forth are common pains.
Physical distress—Imbalances in your body from lack of proper care. This can be chronic fatigue from bad sleep, the long-term impacts of social isolation, poor air quality, neck pain from poor posture, over-working parts of the body, disease from excessive alcohol usage, and more.
Psychological suffering—Discomfort from your emotional reactions. If your team loses in the NCAA tournament or FIFA World Cup and you’re upset, you choose to be upset. There’s no biological reason to be in discomfort. The same goes for breaking up with your partner, not getting a pay raise, and many, many other things.
Traumatic experiences and re-experiences—Discomfort from a traumatizing event that may include other forms of discomfort. The re-experiencing is part of unresolved trauma that recycles in people on a daily basis. It also becomes how and who a person feels themselves to be.
You certainly can have all four kinds of discomfort, and that’s a lot of misery to address.
So it would be great if ego death or a spiritual awakening could just fix that all, right?
That’s what people hope. They’re hoping ego death is a better way to self-soothe and cope with a whole host of pain, suffering, and distress that they don’t want to understand. A large Western belief makes us believe that there are one-step paths and a pill to take to fix everything.
With the growing cultural acceptance around substance use, it seems like a pill can give you enlightenment.
That’s not what you’ll find.
What Is a Spiritual Awakening?
5 Steps to Die a Good Ego Death
Letting go of your ego is a powerful process. Different spiritual paths have attempted to lay out ways to realize your freedom from ego. They often get stuck in their own rhetoric and dogma and don’t appreciate the ways that people work.
It’s a mechanical mindset.
Run everyone through the same assembly line of breathwork, meditation, and indoctrination, and get the same result.
You won’t.
The spiritual path isn’t McDonald’s.
You’re not a piece of meat to be fried up in exactly the same way as everyone else and placed squarely on the toasty, warm bun of enlightenment.
Yet, this is what many of you expect.
As such, the following steps are summaries, not specifics. I have other blogs that can take you deeper, and the best way to go deepers is to connect with me or another teacher directly. Personalized instruction and experiential realization are the foundations for dying a good ego death.
The reason being is this:
On your own, you will make choices about ego death based on your ego, and your ego doesn’t know how to die.
That’s why outside help is critical.
Step 1 to a Good Ego Death
Understand what you’re asking for and give up the feel-good seeking. Most people reading this post don’t want to let go of ego. They want to feel better. That’s a different thing. You have to give up the quest to hold onto and replicate good feelings and develop a deeper desire to know yourself.
Step 2 to a Good Ego Death
Find a knowledgeable spiritual support system. A teacher and a community focused on realizing enlightenment are critical to go through the process of shedding attachments.
Step 3 to a Good Ego Death
Deal with the issues you already know you have. If you already know you have trauma, find a trauma therapist. If you are miserable in your job, make a career change. If you are overweight, find a personal trainer to help you achieve your optimum body weight to feeling great. Losing your ego won’t fix these problems; it will only make them more apparent.
Step 4 to a Good Ego Death
Clear your schedule, but don’t run from people. The reality is that you need space and time to do the inner work and engage with your spiritual community in new ways. That said, I didn’t say run away from everyday life. Some of the most profound shifts come through everyday life.
Step 5 to a Good Ego Death
Reassess yourself and the spiritual path. You’ll be challenged to let go of attachments that you don’t want to release and that you didn’t know you had. If you need to take an off-ramp to something else in life, then do it. Don’t pretend that you want ego death if you discover you don’t.
There’s plenty more to say, but those steps should get yourself headed in the right direction.
How to Handle Ego Death
Let me emphasize that this isn’t a game. The ego isn’t a nasty rhinovirus that you’ll recover from with honey-lemon tea and rest in 7 days.
You’re talking about radical transformation.
You don’t get to continue to be who you’ve been.
Are you really ready to die to ALL of your ego?
The truth is “No.”
You will experientially come to this understanding, and then you have to decide if you truly want to continue and move through this next ego objection.
This will happen multiple times. You will parse out psychological suffering, physical distress, and other discomforts. These will require different tools because conscious people don’t stay in discomfort intentionally. That’s ludicrous!
However, I have seen more than a few examples of people in dysfunctional relationships who are trying to use ego death as a coping mechanism to stay in abuse.
If that’s not you, you probably can’t believe this.
If this is you, you already forgot what I just wrote.
So I’ll repeat it:
A lot of people think ego death and spiritual awakening will allow them to stay in abusive situations.
In ego death, we are not attached to those situations. In the space of awareness, we can make real choices.
We almost never choose to stay in an abusive situation.
Those who convince themselves to stay when they have options are deluded, and yes, those spiritual ego people are out there saying that they’re burning karma, protecting the children, etc., etc.
They’re scared. They’re scared and suffering, and they are spreading more suffering if not trauma to others, including their children if they have them.
Handling the challenges of ego death is a consistent topic of a lot of my posts on this website. I encourage you to dive in further and build/rebuild a spiritual foundation focused on realizing freedom from your ego. But the best advice I can give you will be one-on-one in real-time.
Everyday Spirituality: Cultivating an Awakening
Ready to Ego-die?
Go back to step one of dying a good ego death. So many people come to me ill-prepared and hoping for magical fixes.
That’s not what this is.
What are you truly after?
Go do that instead.
When you want nothing more from the world around you, come find someone like me.
I have nothing but amazing things to say about freedom from your ego, but that comes through the work of facing yourself and realizing that oneness is about connection to everything—the good, the terrible, the ecstatic, the banal, and more.
Updated 3/29/2026
18 Comments
Thank you.
You're welcome. Thanks for reading it.
I scan your blog regularly because it reinforces my efforts. Thank you!
truly inspiring. I really needed this today, Thank you. Beautiful picture too.
Thank you. Glad you enjoyed it, Lila. 🙂
First off, I loved this post and could relate to it more than most others ive seen. I am 100% sure that i am going through this same process. SWIM comes from a group of friends that are heavily into drugs and tho SWIM has drastically cut down since his experience, i was wondering if u think drug abuse will hinder the path of letting go of the ego. Im mainly ttlking about opiates, adderall, and alcohol. I know this is a strange question but any feedback would be greatly valued
thanks, that was very helpful
Thanks mastershake02. Generally speaking drug abuse, alcohol abuse, and other forms of mind-altering substances will cause a lot of problems in life much less on the spiritual path. Those things mess up our internal barometers. Cleansing is super important to find out what it feels like to feel good naturally. Reconnecting with that internal barometer is essential in developing your own internal knowing about what is right and what is wrong for you on every level–physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual.
Ego has been testing me over the past few months, but I have learned to smile and wink at it as if it were a small child who didn't know any better! My attention to it seems to magically calm it into submission, even if only temporarily. Over time, I find it less intrusive and even predictable because I have learned to recognize its conditioned behaviour patterns and reactions that were programmed early in my life. I no longer find it an enemy within; it has become a friendly reminder to remain "aware" of it all times!
A Spiritual Vision
I was sitting at my computer reading a new Near Death Experience on the internet and listening to a CD of "A Day Without Rain" by Enya.
The NDE story that I was reading, focused on a woman that was going through a major operation, and her heart had stopped. She had recognized a disturbing error in her past behaviors during her life review, while experiencing the great light on the other side. She remembered what was really important in life. ("Putting people before pursuits") As in her past, she was more interested in pursuits.
As I dwelled on the quote, tears began to stream down my face; I recognized that I too shared this same character deficiency. This was a deep striking truth that penetrated me mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. I thought about how I had harmed and pushed away many of the people in my life, too busy accomplishing single minded acts, and focusing only on my desires and afraid to get in too close.
The curtains in the window were open as beams of sun light poured into the room from a passing cloud. As I gazed into the light only looking into space, I felt a very profound sense of peace and calm come over me. Then there was a sudden elimination of all fear lifting away. Fear that felt like a thick heavy metal layer of armor, that's like something that I've always anonymously warn. I felt lighter than I could ever remember being.
In the next moments I felt the most wonderful sensations in my entire life. The best way that I can explain it is to call it an overwhelming tidal wave of the most intense and powerful feeling of love and joy that I've ever experienced. It was an unconditional saturating love, without condemnation or expectations, and that forgives all for any trespass. I felt that this kind of love extends throughout the cosmos into everything. It was a love that completes everyone and everything to its core. This occurrence was an influence infinitely beyond my understanding.
Finally, I began to blend with this energy source (God?), until I understood that I was a part of everything and in every place simultaneously. There were what seemed like billions of multiple flashes of views, seeing everywhere and everything for milliseconds.
When the vision ended, I felt as though I was radiating with the sun in my chest. I don't recall how long the moment lasted because there wasn't any sense of time involved in the experience. It all could have happened in the flash. But I estimate it lasted about 10 to 15 minutes.
I found that the vision had elevated me spiritually, and had a direct positive life affirming effect on everyone that I came into contact with. I was a messenger of love and become one with everyone. It seemed as though I could understand all great wisdom and problems of people effortlessly.
But this was not to last. I soon felt the slow declining of the awakening slip away daily, and within two weeks I had returned to my normal self. I was addicted to the memory of the unconditional love that I had received, but to no avail, there only remained a recollection. I search desperately for two years, looking for a way to return to that enlightened state of consciousness without success as yet. The experience was more real and natural to me, than the reality that I've been living in my whole life.
However, I do look at this vision as a gift of grace. I am not special, and I can't think of any reason why I had that moment. It's definitely had a colossal impact in my life that I can never deny, and I know without a doubt for myself, that there's something wonderful out there waiting.
Q: So what does all of this mean?
A: Maybe I had a peak at what's to come, maybe not.
Though, I do believe this is a possibility of what could come for us all in the continuous evolving of humanity.
One thing that I can say, "It was the only experience which has far surpassed any of my life's greatest expectations".
tjmenigma
Thank you so much for sharing this story. That sounds like a beautiful and profound spiritual opening. An opening gives us a glimpse of truth and can start the wheels towards awakening. You can't ever reclaim that experience because that moment is passed, and furthermore, the more you integrate spirituality into yourself, the more open you naturally are. The difference between being open and closed become less and less, so a similar experience may feel less profound. Ultimately, you have to make space for this beautiful radiance that is who you truly are. It's like a flood. With nothing to absorb it and channel it, the waters rush everywhere, and then it's gone. So I encourage you to do the internal work to make space for these waters to come again, and if it is meant to be, then you'll be able to absorb and hold more of this unconditional love than you could possibly imagine.
Sounds amazing! Those flashes are precious and beautiful beyond words sometimes but know that you will have them again… don't let your need to have them again take control and drain you of energy… the need or want sometimes pushes the very thing you want to experience! You are that vision you had… you don't need to search you just need to peel those layers and know that you will see this beautiful light underneath it all! 🙂 A book that has helped me tremeandously is "The Power of Now" and "Stillness Speaks" by Eckhart Tolle… he hasn't reinvented the wheel but has used simple words to help us feel his message as opposed to understanding it.. I hope this helps! 🙂
Very nice indeed… visit to watch Mooji giving a beautiful description about the spiritual growth and ego that hinders it:
http://www.cultureunplugged.com/documentary/watch-online/play/8448/EGO-IS-THE-COSTUME-OF-THE-BEING
Thank you. Yes, Mooji is a wonderful teacher. Thank you for sharing. You can check out my YouTube video channel if you're interested in how I speak about this path as well: http://www.youtube.com/user/Jimtolles
Hi Jim,
Grieving parts of my ego is very new to me as I've had a rigid ego for 29 years. I am 30. feel this is the process I am going through. I recently opened up to a lot of old pain of childhood, past lives, etc and created a lot of space; beautiful beautiful space and wonderful levels of Love, clarity, and much more connected with myself than I can ever remember. Old parts of me are coming up and the story my ego has in the moment of feeling these old spaces come up is that I'm "regressing" so I resist them. Am I regressing or are these parts coming up to die? And how can I change this story of that is the case and be brave to surrender into it to grieve it. I'm afraid that by surrendering I'll "re-adopt" these old ways of Being.
Warm regards and all the Love,
Tristan
Hi Tristan. Simply breathe and come back to the space of the observer. Watch the stories without feeding them more thoughts and emotions.
Wow, this article is really informative. I'm still new to this process of ego transcendence. I had my first awakening in jail (not the best place) and it lasted for days. I cried until I couldn't cry anymore, and I just hid under my blanket the whole time. It lasted almost a week. I still have energy blocks that I'm trying to work through, but this article put some things into perspective. Thank you!
Thanks for the comment.
Actually, in jail, you can't escape yourself. It's often in these moments when a person can no longer go anywhere or do anything that they have to confront themselves, and breakthroughs happen. That makes them, ironically, some of the best places for this work.
I hope you're reading many of my other posts. They can help you on your journey as can my ebook.